


Losing What You Have

by Jld71



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst, Boys Kissing, Emotional Hurt, Established Relationship, Insults, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-07
Updated: 2018-02-07
Packaged: 2019-03-14 21:44:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13598994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jld71/pseuds/Jld71
Summary: Jared and Jensen get into a fight, and one is ready to leave. Possibly for good.





	Losing What You Have

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cloexbrosluvr](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloexbrosluvr/gifts).



> Written for the prompt by cloex_brosluver for j2_jukebox  
> \-- Come Back To Me song by She Moves  
> \-- J2  
> \-- any rating  
> \-- They get into a fight and one J is ready to leave.

Losing What You Have

“Jensen, I can’t believe you! How stupid can you be?” Jared yells at him, not caring that his words sting like he’s slapped Jensen across the face. “You have to be the stupidest person on the planet.” Jared utters as he turns from him, shaking his head and storming out of the living room. 

This is just another of Jensen’s decisions he’s made. Apparently, on a whim. He doesn’t see the problem. The woman needed the money. Said she had two small children at home to care for. She was crying, begging someone to help her. He took one look at her and her tears pulled on his heartstrings. 

“Please, help me. I need to buy food for my babies. I have no job and two small children at home. They’re starving.” She cried to anyone who passed by her.

Jensen had looked her over. Her clothes were worn and shabby. It wasn’t like she was dressed in this year’s fashion. She looked so tired and hopeless. He couldn’t just walk by her. Not without helping her in some way. He just couldn’t. So, he walked to the nearest ATM and withdrew two hundred dollars from their account. He hadn’t even given it a second thought. Never thought about how Jared would react or that this might be a scam. When he pressed the money into her hand, her eyes came alive, like someone was willing to take a chance on her, to see her as a human being. 

“Thank you. You don’t know what this means. I’ll be able to feed my babies. Please, give me your name so I can pray for you,” she said, tears glistening on her cheeks.

“Jensen, Jensen Ackles. I just hope this helps you in some way.” He never thought he should be careful, shouldn’t have given her his name (because there aren’t too many Jensen Ackles in the world). He just wished her good luck and walked away.

So, when he got home and Jared asked him about his day, he didn’t think to not tell him. There was no point in covering it up. Jared would see the money had been withdrawn from their account. And it wasn’t like Jensen didn’t contribute. He worked, had a good paying full-time job as the city’s head librarian. He just didn’t make as much as Jared who worked in the business district as a senior CPA.

He was just spreading good Karma out into the world. 

“So, now she knows the area you work in,” Jared says as he returns. Not ready to give up on his tirade over Jensen’s earlier actions. "She knows what you look like and she knows your name. It wouldn’t be too hard to look you up and then rob us blind.”

Jensen could only stand and look at him. Green eyes filled with tears. Hurt registering on his features. The hurt that Jared inflicts but doesn’t notice.

“It’s like your mind shuts down. Like you have no common sense. Just so idiotic.”

“Jared, stop!” 

Jared looks at him. Confusion furrowing his brow. 

“I get it. You want me to be more careful. To think before I act. I just thought I was helping the woman out. Can’t we just leave it at that?” He asks, hoping that they can. Because if Jared says anything else, another insult, another snide comment, he doesn’t think he’ll be able to take it. 

Jared opens his mouth to speak and is stopped by Jensen’s hand flying up to halt his words.

“Think about what you’re about to say to me. I love you but I won’t take another insult coming from you. You can only say so much before the words hurt. Before you can’t take back the hurt you’ve caused,” Jensen whispers. He’s been hurt enough tonight, there’s no reason for more.

Jared sees red. He hasn’t been insulting, he’s been cautioning the love of his life on how to protect himself from the scam artists that are out there. If Jensen wants insulting, he’ll give him insulting.

“Oh really? You’re too stupid to know that I’m not insulting you. I’m trying to protect you. You walk around in a daze, always thinking that people are descent. That they’re morally good. Wake up. They aren’t! Take off the rose colored glasses and see the world as it really is. Or are you really so braindead from inhaling all the ink fumes from those books you handle every day that you can’t see reality?” Jared fumes. “I just want to grab you by the shoulders and shake some much needed sense into that feathered brain of yours.”

“Enough!” Jensen yells back, not hiding the tears that Jared’s words have finally caused him to shed. 

He turns on his heels and heads for their bedroom, slamming and locking the door behind himself. 

He digs out a small suitcase from their closet, tosses it onto the bed and packs whatever he can. He’s done! He can’t stay here. He needs to leave, possibly for good. If that’s the way Jared sees him, feels about him, then it’s better to cut his losses now. So what if his home is with Jared, his life is Jared? He’ll find someplace else, a motel, whatever. He’ll figure a way to survive without the man he loves, without Jared. 

He tries to stifle the sob that rips from his chest because it feels like his heart is shattering into a million pieces. He loves Jared. Has loved him since Jared first smiled at him, showing him those adorable dimples. Jared has his heart, it belongs to no one else, not even himself. But, it’s too much hurt. Too much pain to deal with, too many hurtful words, too many tears. Everything is just too much.

He drags the suitcase off the bed and crosses to the door. He takes a deep breath before unlocking and pulling open the door. He’s expecting to see Jared’s large body framed by the doorway. It’s not. He’s not standing there. He walks out into the hall toward the living room where he’d taken off his coat and thrown it over the armchair. 

The apartment is quiet. Maybe Jared’s left? Then he won’t have to deal with anymore barbs thrown his way. He can just slip out and go . . . go where? 

The light is on in the living room. It’s nothing new. They leave it on until they're ready to go to bed. He pulls the suitcase behind himself, it trails after him, wheels getting caught in the carpeting. 

“Shit,” he mumbles, “Can’t even do this right. Stupid.” Hot tears slide down his cheeks as he chastises himself, repeating Jared’s words. He chokes back a wounded sound as his hand reaches for his coat.

“Jensen?” Jared says to him.

Jensen looks up to see Jared sitting on the couch. He hadn’t noticed him there. He watches as Jared’s eyes look him over and then land on the suitcase. Jared’s eyes widen and then he’s up off the couch, walking toward him.

Jensen backs away, trying to shield himself from anymore of Jared’s words. Any more possible insults or worse, Jared telling him to get out. He can leave on his own but having Jared tell him to leave, it would be like a knife to his already broken heart.

“What are you doing?” Jared asks in disbelief. “You’re leaving?” 

“Yes, unless I’m too stupid to do it right. Got any pointers on how I should be doing it?” Jensen sees the pain he’s just caused Jared and instantly regrets his callous words.

Jared’s hand snakes out, catches Jensen by the wrist. Stopping him from leaving.

“No, I’m too stupid to see what I have with you. To see how much I hurt you tonight until you’re walking out. I’m too braindead to know that what I said, how I overreacted was making you upset. Even when you warned me. I kept going on, pushing at you. When I should have taken you in my arms and kissed you. Told you that the world needs more people like you, people who see the good in others.” Jared says as he looks at Jensen, tears in his eyes from the pain he’s caused. He has to make this right. 

Jensen looks at him, sees the sincerity in those hazel eyes and his breath stutters. He blinks back the tears and watches Jared, not ready to give in just yet.

Jared goes down on his knees, never letting go of Jensen’s hand. “I’m so sorry for hurting you. Please give me a chance to make it up to you. To give you a reason to forgive me. To love me again.” 

Jensen lets go of the suitcase. His hand rests on Jared chin, tilting it upward so that Jared’s eyes meet his. “I haven’t stopped loving you. You just hurt me. Said things that I’ve never heard you say to me before . . .”

“I know and I had no right to. I can’t tell you how sorry I am. Because I am, truly sorry. Please don’t leave.”

Jensen reaches out to help Jared up. “I’ll stay but you need to realize that you can’t talk to me like that. That your words cause as much pain as if you’d physically hit me. I won’t be your punching bag, verbal or otherwise,” Jensen says in quiet determination. “I will try to keep in mind your concerns, your cautionary words. Doesn’t mean I’m always going to follow them.”

Jared shakes his head yes in understanding. Jensen is an adult, he’s his own person. “I know. For what it’s worth, it wasn’t about the money. It was about your safety.” 

“I get it, I really do. And I love you for it, just not the way you went about it,” Jensen says, letting Jared pull him into his arms.

Jared pulls him close, kissing his forehead and murmuring another apology. 

“Am I forgiven?” Jared asks, not sure what to make of Jensen curling up against him in his arms.

“Not just yet. But you’ll get there.”


End file.
